Chains That Bind Me

It is very difficult for me to look at this self portrait. It is symbolic in the way that I can "see" on the outside what I am feeling on the inside. A weight. A heaviness that I carry around with me daily and hide so well. Every link a drama, a stress, some "crisis", an illness or past memory of trauma and abuse both physical and emotional. These chains bind me now but, day by day and link by link I am learning to unchain myself, for I realize that I alone can set myself  free.

                                          
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Well here I am again in "all my glory"!  Above photo was taken while I was having a "rough day"...I do have a few of those...a little more often than I would care to admit to.  I am honored to have had my mentor suggest my submitting this photo and short essay to Burn Magazine.  Now comes the waiting......one day at a time.

Self Portraits............

If there were ever photo's that I would consider as TRUE self portraits....you're looking at them.  The blur is "Distorted Diana" and the other is "I Walk The Line".

Although I do learn more and more about "me"/"I" almost on a daily basis....what I am learning is only leading me to more and more frustrations....and yes....some anger as well. 

I can only hope that one day....these blurs will finally become clear and if I step off the line....I won't fall to far down and someone would be there to help me get back up.  I only know of one that would.....and not think it an inconvenience .....no matter what.       I thank you....from my "Heart and Soul".......I thank you.

Frustration

So much going on with me lately. So many worries I lock away inside that no one knows about.  Builds up until I feel like I am going to burst.  Sometimes I will share my worries....most of the time I do not.

No one here really to talk to......at least to be listened to with interest.  " Conversations" in passing. Today I broke down and cried in the middle of the grocery store....I was fine....and then I wasn't!  I don't like to cry....but I especially don't like to do it in public! 

Maybe I am just frustrated?  I need to find some sort of balance again.  Very diffacult to do in a "lopsided" house.