About Me

My photo
lives on a small farm in Casco Michigan along with her husband Ken, son Brandon , grandson Jordan and numerous "critters". She is also the mother of Justin Rowell. She is a "free spirit" wanting to "get lost in the sparkle and fade". She will someday....just watch her!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Chains That Bind Me

It is very difficult for me to look at this self portrait. It is symbolic in the way that I can "see" on the outside what I am feeling on the inside. A weight. A heaviness that I carry around with me daily and hide so well. Every link a drama, a stress, some "crisis", an illness or past memory of trauma and abuse both physical and emotional. These chains bind me now but, day by day and link by link I am learning to unchain myself, for I realize that I alone can set myself  free.


Well here I am again in "all my glory"!  Above photo was taken while I was having a "rough day"...I do have a few of those...a little more often than I would care to admit to.  I am honored to have had my mentor suggest my submitting this photo and short essay to Burn Magazine.  Now comes the waiting......one day at a time.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Self Portraits............

If there were ever photo's that I would consider as TRUE self portraits....you're looking at them.  The blur is "Distorted Diana" and the other is "I Walk The Line".

Although I do learn more and more about "me"/"I" almost on a daily basis....what I am learning is only leading me to more and more frustrations....and yes....some anger as well. 

I can only hope that one day....these blurs will finally become clear and if I step off the line....I won't fall to far down and someone would be there to help me get back up.  I only know of one that would.....and not think it an inconvenience .....no matter what.       I thank you....from my "Heart and Soul".......I thank you.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


So much going on with me lately. So many worries I lock away inside that no one knows about.  Builds up until I feel like I am going to burst.  Sometimes I will share my worries....most of the time I do not.

No one here really to talk to......at least to be listened to with interest.  " Conversations" in passing. Today I broke down and cried in the middle of the grocery store....I was fine....and then I wasn't!  I don't like to cry....but I especially don't like to do it in public! 

Maybe I am just frustrated?  I need to find some sort of balance again.  Very diffacult to do in a "lopsided" house.